지금까지의 시간은
너무 이기적이고 외로웠어.

우리는 두 개의 눈과
두 개의 귀와
수많은 머리칼이 있지만

나의 몫은
그런 식으로 존재하지 않는다.

손금은 제멋대로 흐르다가
제멋대로 사라지고

꿈속에 사는 사람은
꿈 밖으로 팔을 뻗어 전화를 받고

나는 뺄셈에 약하다.
남는 것들
사라지는 것들이 이해되지 않는다.

이름을 나눈다면
뒤를 밟히는 일도
두 개의 소리를 듣는 일도 없을 거야.

그렇게 생각하자.

-신해욱 <생물성> 중에서

내가 다시 너를 만났을 땐
너는 많이 야위었고 이마엔 땀방울
너는 웃으며 내게 말했지
아주 작은 일에도 눈물이 나와

내가 마지막 너를 보았을 땐
너는 아주 평화롭고 창 너머 먼 눈길
너는 웃으며 내게 말했지
아주 한밤중에도 깨어 있고 싶어

2.
진실로 진실로 내가 그대를 사랑하는 까닭은 내 나의 사랑을 한없이 잇닿은 그 기다림으로 바꾸어 버린데 있었다. 밤이 들면서 골짜기엔 눈이 퍼붓기 시작했다. 내 사랑도 언제쯤에선 반드시 그칠 것을 믿는다. 다만 그때 내 기다림의 자세를 생각하는 것 뿐이다. 그 동안에 눈이 그치고 꽃이 피어나고 낙엽이 떨어지고 또 눈이 퍼붓고 할 것을 믿는다.

황동규

wishin’ i was blue
but i have been together
thought i was being true
but i’ve been a lover, too

* thousand drops of tears
when smoke drips out of the kiss
it’s nine days or a million too far

wishin’ i was blue
but i’ve been called together
wish i wasn’t you
but i miss me oh so much

*
wish i was there
but i can tell
most of the time
and those wise stars and
clouds are high and then
a girl holding nine petals

i remember
nine days or a million
the longest number i ever know

a day is closin’ after you
and i follow sunny side unarmed
’cause i need a why, need a…
will you glide on

something’s closin’ after you
and i’m fallin’ right after you
just to kiss…

Voice

Although I can easily relate to conceptual artists, I can find in myself strong influences by artists of widely varying media.  Even though I do not paint with oil on the canvas, I respect painters who explore their thoughts on the two dimensional surface.  I choose media depending on my concept; if painting is the best way to manifest the concept, I will use it.  George Tooker (US. b. 1920) is one of the painters who have influenced me.  I discovered the similarities between his thought and mine a short while after my first solo exhibition, Free-contact.  I was introduced to his drawings by Professor Martin Levine.  Some critics have described his style as “magic realism,” but he was not interested in the illusionary effects that many of the painters of that style espouse. He has regarded himself as more of a reporter or observer of society than an interpreter.  His paintings are realistic; despite occasional use of strong colors, they mostly involve grey, pastel tones.

I was especially deeply impressed by two of his lithographs: Embrace and Voice. The subjects of both works are pairs of people.  I was struck by the similarities between Tooker’s Embrace and the dream that led me to create Free-contact, as well as between Voice and the form I had chosen for my installation.  The similarities, including walls that separate people, longing, hugging, and listening seem to aspire to common feelings between people.

In Embrace, I could directly connect its background to my dream placed in the demilitarized zone (DMZ) in Korea.  The DMZ resembles a nature preserve, completely forbidden to the people, which seemed similar for me to the bare mountainous landscape in the background of Embrace.  The drawing Voice is separated in half by a wall, with a man on each of its sides. The man on the left leans on the wall, trying to listen to the other’s “voice”.  The man on the right side of the wall is talking with his mouth open.  The eyes of both men are big and filled with sorrow.

After that, I acquainted myself more thoroughly with Tooker’s work, and visited his exhibition at the National Academy Museum in Manhattan which I found rich and delicate.  Compared with his drawings, my installation Free-contact was more physical and complicated.  The installation required an extreme amount of labor; I had to sew the sleeves and other shapes in the fabric wall, as well as construct a long and complex frame.  By presenting the project as an installation, I encouraged invaluable physical interaction between audience members that is not attainable through drawing.  Still, I appreciated Tooker’s drawings which provided a direct rendering of his idea.

Caspar Behaim, 1568, Astronomical Table Clock, Austria (Vienna)

Beaded Box, last quarter of the 17th century, English

Friedrich Wasmann, 1832, View of the Campagna